Okay, the previous step was relatively the fun part. The next step….not so much, because it actually involves creating the dreaded TO DO list. But this part is the really really important part. To tell the truth, this is the stage where I always seem to get stuck. Because this is the part where I always get overwhelmed, it’s important that I only do it a few steps at a time. My tendency is to be impatient and start out all “gung-ho” and take on too much. I quickly get overwhelmed or confused and stop. So the actual “to do list” needs to be done, taking only a few steps at a time from the previous list.

One reason I’d get overwhelmed is because I would try to see too far down the dimly lit road. How can I know what it will take to complete “step 7″ for example, if I haven’t even started on “step 1.” And why should I even be worrying about step 7 yet??

Starting at what is the bottom of my list, I break that one thing down into an actual “to do list.” A brainstorming session is in order and of course some of the “to do’s” on the list might be too small to even warrant putting them on the final to do list. But I’ll worry about that later. Right now I’m not trying to prioritize anything. I just want to make a list of everything I will need to do to make that “snapshot” a reality…even if an item on the list is “buy pencils.” Whatever it is, I’ll write it down.

If the to do list that I’m generating is too long (read overwhelming) it’s possible that my “snapshot” is too big and I need to go back in and break it into two or even more smaller snapshots. If there is nothing to do, then I should ask “why?” There should be something to do, even if its the end of the list and the item on the to do list is “get out of bed and do a happy dance!” I guess if the to do list has only one or two items and they seem like the mother of all items, then perhaps again this snapshot is too big (read overwhelming) and it needs to get broken down.

Depending on what the project is and where I am in the process of delivering it (the individual snapshots or steps) I will create this brainstorming to do list for 1-5 items. But I think more than that would be too many.

So the brainstorm to do list that I have come  relates to the first two steps from the previous list.

I finish piecing together the images for my first illustration. It is ready to be digitally painted.

1. Open Photoshop
2. Look at the illustration
3. Decide on the cropping and save it as a NEW IMAGE in case you change your mind later.
4. Adjust any of the images of the collage, if needed, due to the new cropping
5. Re-do the “lettuce patch“ in the collage
6. Create the inside borders of the illustration
7. Create the places of the illustration that will “bleed“ beyond the inside borders.

I play around with Painter and Photoshop to find the technique I want to use for the illustrations in my book.

1. Open illustration in Photoshop and save it as a test copy so as to not ruin the original. In fact, save a couple this way to be safe.
2. Open Painter and open the test illustration.
3. Experiment and play around with techniques until you come across a look you like for the illustrations
4. Keep a paper and pen nearby so as to write any notes to yourself you’ll need while playing and experimenting
5. Actually write some notes to yourself while experimenting. You WON’T remember what you did you later so write the notes. All of the gazillion things you tried will mush together. Keep it in your skinny-book.

A couple of important points. Some steps are so obvious that they are silly, like “open Photoshop.” Duh!! They can be removed from the final to do list. Some of the items on the to do list are so big that they are in fact the linchpin or whole ball of wax for the ENTIRE project. For example number 3 in the second snapshot of experimenting with the illustration style in Painter. That step is overwhelming but I can’t figure out  a way to break it down into smaller steps. So I think this step might be better served with an ongoing item on the to do list of “work on illustration style for 15-30 minutes”; this item will need to occur on the to do list until the desired outcome is reached, in this case finding a style that I want to use for all the book’s illustrations.

BTW, my “skinny book” is a thin book of blank pages that I have bound at Kinkos. I always have this book with me and jot down ideas or notes to myself. I date the books, write a table of contents in the front when that book is full, and keep it for future reference.

I have become the master do-nothinger. It is October the 22nd. What the hell happened to the month of October!! Granted I cooked for and planned a large party and went out of town for almost a week…not to mention the stress of being with my family. But good grief I am good at getting very little done!

And lets not forget about this wee little issue I have with money running out. The good news is that I did take a consulting job for a few weeks and earned $1000 to add to the kitty. That helps me out through the middle of December. But I know I don’t want to go back to work for anyone…at least not at a job that I don’t want to do.

What I do like to do lately is waste time. I can waste away four days like nobody’s business. I have always known that I am my own worse enemy and now I see it very clearly. I can no longer blame my job as a teacher. I am not drained or tired or sucked-dry of energy and ideas due to teaching all day. In fact, I feel GREAT! That is one thing that has been an amazing gift from the hiatus of working and resignation from teaching. I dealt with chronic fatigue for probably close to 10 years. For the last 3 or 4 I have been taking bio-identical hormones trying to treat my fatigue. They helped a little…but I didn’t feel the overwhelming relief that so many people talk about.

When I quit my job I lost my insurance (not that it paid for the hormones) but I didn’t have the money to continue the treatment so I stopped taking the hormones. You know what? I feel great! Except for allergies that I’ve had since moving to Houston, I feel really good. The only conclusion I have is that when I was teaching, being around all those people and particularly crazy teenagers all day just drained me of all my energy.

But getting back to my point…so I no longer have that issue. I can’t blame my fatigue or lack of brain cells firing on the fact that I can’t get creative. I have more energy now than I’ve had in a long long time, and yet I do nothing. Or very little.

Isn’t that the theme of my life? I seem to be a generator of ideas but ultimately lack the energy, motivation or wherewithal to make it happen. I think I get overwhelmed by all the possibilities and all the steps. Then I get distracted and start focusing on something else. My mind racing a hundred miles a minute. So it is constantly coming up with new ideas and “what ifs” but lacking the ability to actual figure out HOW to do it!! I’m sure I’m not the only creative person with this problem.

The other problem I have is that I can see the validity and possible success in each idea and each path. Again, I don’t have time to pursue them all…at least not all at once. So I end up running in circles trying to figure out which one, ultimately choosing none of them.

Finally, a big problem I have is fear of failure. Again, not alone in this department. I can see potential in almost all of my ideas, but can just as easily see – or should I say eventually see – the sure possibility of failure. Maybe that is why I keep jumping around from idea to idea. I think of something, get excited about it and see its potential…see it potential for total failure as well and then jump to the next idea. Maybe its not quite like that. But its just as tiring whatever form it takes.

I’ve already made a list a few days ago, but I’ll make another one – just in case there are some deletions that are needed or perhaps some needed additions.

• Children’s book author/illustrator
• Digital Artist working on commissioned portraits
• Freelance digital illustrator
• Freelance web designer, multimedia developer, illustrator and graphic designer
• Multimedia/Flash developer working for an educational publisher
• eLearning developer specializing in online courses
• Online business