I have become the master do-nothinger. It is October the 22nd. What the hell happened to the month of October!! Granted I cooked for and planned a large party and went out of town for almost a week…not to mention the stress of being with my family. But good grief I am good at getting very little done!

And lets not forget about this wee little issue I have with money running out. The good news is that I did take a consulting job for a few weeks and earned $1000 to add to the kitty. That helps me out through the middle of December. But I know I don’t want to go back to work for anyone…at least not at a job that I don’t want to do.

What I do like to do lately is waste time. I can waste away four days like nobody’s business. I have always known that I am my own worse enemy and now I see it very clearly. I can no longer blame my job as a teacher. I am not drained or tired or sucked-dry of energy and ideas due to teaching all day. In fact, I feel GREAT! That is one thing that has been an amazing gift from the hiatus of working and resignation from teaching. I dealt with chronic fatigue for probably close to 10 years. For the last 3 or 4 I have been taking bio-identical hormones trying to treat my fatigue. They helped a little…but I didn’t feel the overwhelming relief that so many people talk about.

When I quit my job I lost my insurance (not that it paid for the hormones) but I didn’t have the money to continue the treatment so I stopped taking the hormones. You know what? I feel great! Except for allergies that I’ve had since moving to Houston, I feel really good. The only conclusion I have is that when I was teaching, being around all those people and particularly crazy teenagers all day just drained me of all my energy.

But getting back to my point…so I no longer have that issue. I can’t blame my fatigue or lack of brain cells firing on the fact that I can’t get creative. I have more energy now than I’ve had in a long long time, and yet I do nothing. Or very little.

So, its been almost a month since I’ve quit my job. I officially/unofficially have about two months remaining of money before my funds run out. Two months left of this experiment.

Question: Am I any closer to figuring out what I want for a new career? Hmmmmm not really because it depends on when you ask as to what answer I give.

I actually contemplated going back to work part-time as a consultant or trainer in my job from a few years ago. Now THAT is a fear choice. There is no freedom or joy in that. It is purely about the money. There is no creativity or inspiration, only frustration and PANIC. So I’m officially talking myself off the ledge.

I’m not certain what my “dream job” is. Not yet anyway. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas on the subject; it’s that I have TOO many ideas. I am all over the place as to what I want to do with my life and my career. Let’s list some of them:

• Instructional Designer (but working in a more creative environment)
• Illustrator
• Web Designer
• Multimedia Developer
• Develop some sort of technology teacher curriculum site
• Be a consultant to schools and school districts, mainly concerning Web 2.0 stuff
• Children’s book author/illustrator
• Create collages and jewelry and sell them; and teach at craft shows and even online
• Create digitally enhanced/created commissioned portraits

See what I mean? And those are only the one’s I will admit to in writing – on a public blog.