Once upon a time (for many years) I continually kept a journal and wrote in it religiously every day. For the last few years, I have tried and tried to keep a journal. But I never seem to be able to get back into the habit of writing in it every day. I sometimes have 2-3 journals at various stages of neglect somewhere within arms length. But as usual, I tend to even forget that I EVER started the journal…much less actually write in it on a daily or even weekly (monthly) basis.This has frustrated me to no end. But I just can’t seem to break the habit of “forgetting” to write in my journal.

Similarly, I used to create art on a regular and continuous basis. Now…to be honest, it’s been a LONG LONG time since that was true. But is WAS true at one point in my life. There was even an actual time when I kept a journal of my feelings and emotions and did it via a visual journal.

On a completely other note, I hate my job. I haven’t liked my job in a long time. I don’t know if I’ve EVER liked my job. But I still have done it am still doing it for over 20 years. The reasons are beyond the scope of this post. Maybe because that too has been something I’ve written about in multiple journals over the years. But I digress.

I want to change. I want to change my life. I want to have a job and a career and more importantly a LIFE that I LOVE….and I’m fairly certain that it has a LOT to do with being an artist, or an illustrator or designer of some sort. I want to CREATE for a living. But like my journals, I have started down this road of changing my life and my career so many times…that I have lost all touch with what I truly want to do.

So…what’s this blog all about? I guess it is my honest search and journey towards what I want for myself. Doing this “out in the open” is a huge deal for me. I don’t tend to like to air my dirty laundry in public. But like I said, I want a change. So I’ve decided to change the WAY I go about creating this change. I hope this blog will document my journey and process and my progress towards creating the life that I truly want. It’s very possible that no one will ever even stumble across this blog and read these posts. But whether they come or not, I’ve decided not to keep the blog hidden because I want to change my life, and the first thing I must change, is my extreme desire to be INVISIBLE.

It would be very easy for me to write in this blog and remain invisible by simply making it password protected. I’ve done THAT before too. But like the other attempts…that didn’t work either. It wasn’t real. So this blog is written for myself so that I can record my own progress. If others stop by and visit, to comment and tell their own stories, that’s good. But if they don’t, that’s good too.

Here goes…