So, did I mention that I’ve written a children’s book? I’ve actually written a couple of children’s books; and they have sat on my shelves, waiting to be illustrated for years. Now I’m certain to be prejudice, but I actually think they are good. I’ve even considered submitting them to a publisher un-illustrated since it was the illustrating part that has held me hostage for so long. But in the end, I want to be the one who does that. I don’t want to hand it over to someone else. This is about more than just making money. Albeit getting a publisher to want to publish a children’s book by an unknown author is only slightly more difficult than trying to get it published by an unknown author and illustrator.

But hell…it’s my book. I’ll illustrate it if I want to. So then, WHY DON’T I DO IT??

Remember that problem I have with too many ideas converging all at once in my brain? Well I have the same problem pretty much when trying to make up my mind about a lot of things. What style should I illustrate? Is my style appropriate for a children’s book? Should I illustrate it digitally like I want to? Or go with the more traditional media? Blah blah blah.

So I’ve actually come to a decision. I have decided the style I want to illustrate the book in and am starting to collect the needed photographs to make it happen. This weekend my significant other and I will be going around to a couple of parks and hiking trails to take some photos…he’s a very good photographer and has a very nice camera…..and is a very nice guy in that he wants to help me out by taking some photos. I love him very much for lots of good reasons.

So baby steps here. I’ve got the list of photos I need and a list of places I think we can find them.

Yesterday was my birthday, and the present I gave myself was that I resigned from my job. It was very sudden…well…it has been brewing for quite some time. But the actual thought of actually DOING it came on very quickly. I am like that.

I have been a teacher for more than 2o years and Thursday will be my last day. I am here just getting the room in order for the teacher who’ll take my place as the kids don’t come back until Monday. Wow…that sounds almost surreal. School starts Monday and I won’t be here.

Like I said, I’ve been a teacher for more than 20 years and have had my moments of liking it, even loving it sometimes. But the red-tape, unending paperwork and silly meetings,  and the feeling of always having to contort yourself to do things that truly go against everything that seems logical and real made the job unbearable for a very long time now. I wanted to like it. I was good at it; that’s what made it so hard to quit sooner. I felt like if something is so easy, surely this must be the thing that I’m supposed to be doing. Seems logical, yes?

There were “those moments” over the years when I felt like I was actually accomplishing something, and I’m sure that I did reach some of the kids I taught. But as the years passed, the moments became fewer and fewer. I kept looking for the perfect job…you know, the one where I actually had energy when I left for the day. That’s not too much to ask, is it? So I kept looking. Again…thinking that sense I was so good at it, it was just a matter of figuring out where that great job was! I finally realized that there was no such thing as my “perfect job” or even close to it. Sadly, if it wasn’t possible to find with my last position…it didn’t exist.

So I finally accepted the reality of that, and with a big gulp and sigh of relief, I resigned my position as a teacher of high school technology and stepped into a new world. I don’t have a job {gasp}. I don’t know what I’m going to do next {I know, I know}. But it felt like the thing to do if I was going to save my soul and my ability to stay awake past 4:30 pm.

So I hereby pronounce that THAT will be the last I speak of it in such length – my ex-career as a teacher. That is not what this blog is about.